My Dog Has Fleas

I got fleas in a cheap hotel in Brimfield. Actually, the hotel was in Sturbridge, but the biped dragged me there for some antiques bullshit. Anyway, he leaves me in this hotel room all day while he's prissing it between tables of depression glass and fake Empire furniture. The room had thick green carpet that smelled like Golden Retriever urine (and I HATE Golden Retrievers) and was infested with fleas. It was a Days Inn off I-84--what do you expect right? And the bastards had the nerve to charge $120 a night and a ten buck daily surcharge for pets--uh, does that include the GD fleas? And other than the portable infestation, all the biped brought back home was some lowball glasses so he can swill back a few slugs of bourbon and pretend like I'm not here itching my face off. Thanks a f**king lot.